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Parodies

Parody is harder than most people think - I see so many parodies out there that just don't work. The ideas are there, but they don't get the rhythm right. It's not always about the number of syllables - you also have to take into account where word breaks fall and how you're going to pronounce things (some words are have regional pronounciations that are different, or you may 'shorten' a word to get it to fit). I'm not saying mine are perfect, just trying to point out it's not as easy as most people seem to think it is!


My least favorite things...

Sniffles and coughing and running of noses
Wheezing and aching and medicine doses
Crumpled white kleenex and eyes that do sting
These are a few of my least favorite things

Headaches and sore throats and noses all stuffy
Stiff joints and backaches and faces all puffy
Spiking a fever and sweat that it brings
These are a few of my least favorite things

Nausea and puking and stomach so queasy
Gastrointestinal tract that’s uneasy
Cranky and crabby with abrupt mood swings
These are a few of my least favorite things

When the boss gripes
When the clerk sneers
When the waiter's slow
I simply remember I am contagious
And watch this pandemic grow!


It’s the most fattening time of the year
With your waistline expanding and everyone handing you
just one more beer...
It’s the most fattening time of the year

It’s the yum - yummiest season of all
From sweet chocolate things to hot buffalo wings and
plates way too small
It’s the yum - yummiest season of all

There’ll be chicken for roasting and fresh baked bread toasting
with margerine coating it all
They’ll be old weight loss stories and tales of the glories
of how we all looked in the fall

It’s the most fattening time of the year
The guests are all moaning and everyone’s groaning
“but eggnog is here!”
It’s the most fattening time of the year


Hark! The harried shoppers sing
“I must grab this one last thing
Then get home and cook the ham steak
And prepare the pies to bake”

Waiting here for quite some time
“Can’t you hurry up this line?”
When the cashier starts to shout
“We don’t have more, we’re all sold out”
Hark! The harried shoppers sing
“I only need this one last thing”

Lines, right now that stretch for miles
Clothing, boxes, left in piles
Overflowing carts of presents
She’s bickering over cents
Shoppers running here and there
Cars and people everywhere
Oh what fun the season brings
And plenty of new car door dings!
Hark! The harried shoppers sing
“Just let me grab this one last thing”

Hail! the joy of shopping on-line
Hail! the joy of being done
Shipping free with your purchase
I’m done shopping for this Christmas
No more running to the store
No more fighting at the door
No more will I ever be
Those fighting people on TV
Hark! The harried shoppers sing
“Please let me get this one last thing”


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